You have no idea how many blogs i've started and deleted. Actually I have no idea how many but it's been alot. I realised today that when I reach the age of 100 and I look back over my life I will probably know far more about other people than I will know about myself. There's a fear inside of me that I will never find that life purpose that's supposed to be inside all of us. I want this blog to have thousands of followers. If I do that it means I will have found something that I am so passionate about and good at that others will love to learn from me.
So today begins my journey. I hope you will join me as I know i'm not the only person who feels ok but nothing special.
I think the worst place to be in is feeling 'ok and comfortable'. When something is really bad at least it motivates us to change. It forces us to accept nothing less than more for ourselves. However when things are ok it's hard to change. One reason I think I find it hard is from a sense of guilt. Guilt that if something, for example my income, is ok and others have it so bad then how awful must I be to want more? In my mind I know that's not right, but still I think it's one factor holding me back and stopping me from moving forward.
Why is it that you can convince yourself of something but still do it? As above I know it's not right to feel guilty but in my heart I still do it? hmmmm.
Am I rambling? Do I ramble? So much to learn about myself. Strange because if you meet me you may think i'm stuck up as I have so little to say.
My changes for today...
I will no longer feel guilty about wanting more. Every time I feel this I will focus on what having more will do for me. I will be able to provide better for my daughter, I will be able to spoil my loved ones. I will be able to spoil myself. I will be able to contribute and make a difference. I will be able to live a life of adventure
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